Random Attempts at Humor

Since I'm already in turbo rant mode and since I've already pissed every stiletto-wearer on the planet off already, here's another thing... Seriously, it's enough with the outrageous high heels already.  At least during the last couple years, stilettos were cool...they were "in". They're passe now.  Let it go.  You're going to look back in a few years and feel very stupid seeing pictures ... read more

Most people understand that shorting something means you'll make money if it goes down.   Here's how it actually works: It's Saturday afternoon and you stop by your ex girlfriend's apartment to pick some of your old stuff.  You guys are friends and all, so you just let yourself in.  You're grabbing your clothes from behind the fridge and see that she's got a case of Budweiser sitting in the ... read more

I suppose it's important in the midst of all this economic and socialist meltdown engulfing our country and our world that we should still remember that other things are important too. Like blowing off a little steam and having some fun sometimes. So a couple friends of mine and I were supposed to have some steaks and wine Thursday night, but one of the dudes ends up with a last minute invite ... read more

After carefully considerin' the whole situation I stand with my back to the wall Walkin' is better than runnin' away and crawlin' ain't no good at all And if guilty's the question truth is the answer I've been lyin' to me all alone There ain't nothin' worth savin' except one another And before you'll wake up I'll be gone Cause after carefully considerin'... After carefully ... read more

I had a spy fly on the wall at the big explicit Illuminati meeting yesterday between Paulson, Ben, and the nine biggest surviving banks in the country. And so let's actually picture the discussion in that room. The very CEOs who drove these giant banks into insolvency are sitting around with their former partners/co-workers/friends from the Treasury and ... read more

The hits, they just keep on coming... From the NYTimes today (in passing of course, heaven forbid we highlight and focus on how alarming the changed TARP Bailout has already become): "All told, the potential cost to the government of the latest bailout package comes to $2.25 trillion, triple the size of the original $700 billion rescue package, which centered on buying distressed assets from ... read more

It's a random kind of thing Came upon a delicate flower I can't believe a machine gun sings Driveby, driveby  -- Neil Young I'll do my usual Weekend Vittles piece tomorrow, but in the meantime, here's a random collection of random thoughts - * We definitely need to bail her out, asap. Maid-Turned-Realtor Masterminded Las Vegas Mortgage Scam, Prosecutors ... read more

You wired me awake and hit me with a hand of broken nails You tied my lead and pulled my chain to watch my blood begin to boil But I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break my, I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run - Soundgarden (which is the greatest name for a band ever) * Remember the trading playbook here. I've been saying that we're likely range-bound ... read more

In case I haven't been perfectly clear, let me state it explicitly -- I can't tell a difference between the so-called "left" and the so-called "right". The Democrats and Liberals and Left people pretend they have all these principles like being for the little guy and against the big corporation...until they decide to vote for the TARP package that's so far sending $2.25 trillion of your ... read more

My own version of Sunday Comics -- How are all these ad-hoc rules and bail outs supposed to create confidence, again?: - [The credit agencies]: "I'm not going to so my math homework. Look at these unsolved problems. Here's a number in mortal combat with another. One of them is going to get subtracted. But why? What will be left of him? If I answered these, it would kill the suspense. ... read more