June 24, 2008 6:43AM

Lobo Business Alert: Bipartisan Pyramid Worshipers Pass Plan To Help Troubled DogHouse Owners

By Cody Willard

Being in charge of running security for much of lower New York state isn’t all glamour and rock n roll, not even for The City CattleDog himself, lemme tell ya’. I had to spend hours on Sunday, for example, patrolling the perimeter of the Hudson Hidden Valley site…I tracked, caught, took names, and released three squirrels, two birds, and chased one of the feline members of the Evil Order of the Sphinx a good 20 feet up a tree.

It’s hard work, lemme tell ya’, and in the midst of it all, Dogi Master Cody has me training with hovering droids called Frisbees that I snatch out of the air instead of batting down with a light saber. Not that I know how to use a light saber, but I did chew the cover right off of the remote control for the stereo in Cody’s padawan pad…

People don’t seem to take firehydrant security as serious as they should. I tried to tell Cody that I needed more time on the street in front of our house in Soho tonight, as I needed to secure the area by the fire hydrant for the sixth time today — hey, it’s a busy street and I am in charge of running security for much of lower New York state and how would it look if my own neighborhood was infiltrated not just by the 20 dump trucks that drive by every night in the name of protecting our environment but also by one of the doggy-body-snatching Storm Twoofers who can only be detected by lotium olfaction (that’s Dogi Latin…what you thought pigs were the only other species with Latin…come on, you didn’t really think that, did you? ) You really do need to think about those irehydrantsfay.

Ah the pressures of such being a cattledog with so much responsibility and “spot”light. A blog post about me, a stock picking dog on a blog about mutt news? “Internet Long Tail”, indeed, roorah!

Ooh, and here’s a breaking Lobo Business Alert, the Bureaucracy of the Convoluted Pyramid Worshipers passed a vote today through a bipartisan compromise by both the DemoCats and RePelicans and we are going to be passing legislation called the New Hope Alliance that won’t do anything for the millions of homeless dogs put to death each year, but will enable, according to their best estimates, a few rich dogs to stay in their padded doghouses for a few more months…

I heard Dogi Master Cody saying something like that on my new channel on YouTube — http://www.youtube.com/LoboDogTV.

PS. Did you see Joanna Krupa wish me a happy first birthday and blow me a kiss? Rokay, rokay, so being in charge of running security for much of lower New York state does have its glamor and rock n roll to it too.