The Cody Word is Proud to Announce: The City CattleDog Gets Promoted to 'In Charge of Running Security for Much of Lower New York State'

But I don't have time for love or poetry or song,

Protecting my ranch from dangerous forces, I've got to be strong,

But maybe I'm wrong again. - Beulah's Song, Hank the Cowdog

Cowboy Cody did a decent enough job of trying to introduce me, but let me be formal about it: I'm Lobo The City Cattle Dog, and as of this weekend, it's true that I'm in charge of running security for much of lower New York State. Now before you ask me to explain how a dog, even a Cattle Dog can end up with so much responsibility, let me ask you to think about my network of associates -- the other dogs you see everywhere you go. All that mindless sniffing you see us doing on the streets? Those are my colleagues, collectively known as the Mysnifftery Workers, keeping our country safe.

A little about my background then - I started my security work in a small crate in an apartment in Brooklyn as a little puppy. I had been captured by two Storm Twoofers of The Evil Order of the Sphinx, that cartel of mean dogs and lazy people who justify their violence with annoying barking and socialist doctrines. After weeks of plotting my escape, I finally made contact with my sister who'd had her own ordeal at the hands of Storm Twoofers herself, but had been rescued by those good Rebels of the at the North Shore Animal Shelter Alliance.

The Dogi High Council then voted to have me assigned for top secret security training under the guidance of veteran Dogi High Council member, Cowboy Cody. Now I suppose once again I outta stop you before you ask me this time to explain why I'm allowed to go public with my top secret security training -- see, that's an old counter-espionage / propaganda trick (often used by The Evil Order of the Sphinx, btw): if you tell everyone your secret then nobody believes it could be true. I mean, you do realize that you've already forgotten that you don't wanna believe a dog could be in charge of running security for much of lower New York state, after all, huh?

At any rate, whether it was a coincidence or not, the day after the legendary counter-espionage agent William Shatner (what you thought Captain Kirk was fictional?! -- ha, you folks on two legs are so gullible....all dogs know the USS Enterprise is the greatest counter terrorist weapon the US has ever produced and it's up there working all the time....every time you see William Shatner playing himself in real life, it's because the Enterprise crew has once again ended up accidentally on earth and blowing their cover...so they end up using that counter-espionage trick, "It's just TV, it's not real!". Oh, diggity dog, Cody's gonna be upset for me revealing too much counter-espionage tricks, I better get back on bark here.) was on Fox Business, I got a call about this possible promotion to being in charge of running security for much of lower New York state.

So Cody took me upstate for a real-life Security Excursion in the Fahnestock Woods. Can some human please explain to me why we had to ride his bicycle 20 blocks to his car to then drive upstate to our ultimate destination? Cody grumbled something about NYC as we rode along, but I still don't get you two-legged folk.

I think he was testing me when, just a couple hours into our first day in the woods, I came across a six foot long black snake sunning just a few yards away from where Cowboy was sunning. Lucky for me, we've had National Geographic on the plasma at home when we watch TV on the couch to wrap up our day (when we're not watching one of the co-Heads of the Dogi High Council themselves: Judge Judy or Neil Young...I wonder if I'll get in trouble for admitting that I prefer the nature shows with more action and less talking/singing...cut me some slack - I'm a dog, even if I am a Cattle Dog, after all), so I've seen a few snakes already and I just barked once and then retreated back to the trail with Cody. Here's a picture of me running security detail back and forth around the perimeter of a lake that could have ended up the target of a sonic blast had I not disrupted the sound waves with my own energy bursts:

I also met my first river and passed the "Nip at all rapids" test with flying colors, according to Cody. Not sure why those rapids wouldn't give up after all my relentless yipping, but maybe that's part of the test too or something. I'll have to ask Cody. Love the river, that's for sure.

I also ran security detail (in between naps) while The Cowboy got his grill on. Cody never shares his food with me...but I guess I'd done something right that day, because he gave me a bite at the end of the night - that fresh-cooked meat stuff is delicious, huh:

I might be a puppy still (Cody says we're gonna mark my first birthday with the next full moon...sounds close enough to this underdog!), but I do know that there's more reason for the holiday this season than just my job interview - the are real soldiers out there who have given real lives so that I can prove that I can nip twenty rapids in one minute:

It seems I proved enough this weekend that the Dogi High Council approved me for being in charge of running security for much of lower New York state.   I felt pretty good about my performance this weekend except for one little incident this morning – as we were about to start driving back to The City, I sorta stepped on the door lock button while Cody was outside saying his good byes with words and hugs instead of just sniffs like you humans always do.  I got impatient and stepped in the wrong spot.  I kept trying to step back on the right button, but that darn hazards button right next to the door lock button on the BMW 330i is twice the size and my paws kept hitting it instead.   Cody figured it out like a good Dogi Master should though and got the doors back open after not too long.  I still have a lot to learn – hope I’m up for all the responsibilities of this new job I’ve got.  (Oh, great, I really am starting to sound like Cody!)