April 29, 2008 12:01AM

Life Lesson: Managing Thoughts, Like Managing Money, is For Idiots

By Cody Willard

…Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

 

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - Desiderata

I’d pondered during my UNM speech if our brains have a balance sheet. The more I spend thoughts thinking about it, I am convinced they do.

Opportunity cost is defined by Wikipedia the cost (sacrifice) incurred by choosing one option over an alternative one that may be equally (or more) desired. Thus, opportunity cost is the cost of pursuing one choice instead of another. Every action has an opportunity cost.

It’s not just actions, that have an opportunity cost. Thoughts have opportunity costs too. In other words, the opportunity cost is the cost (sacrifice) incurred by thinking one thought over an alternative one that may be equally or more desired.

Take for example, and yes, irony self-fulfilling, that this will be my last post about my the recent trashing I just went through in my personal life. I mean, the opportunity cost of all this pain that I’ve also been processing over the last couple months is not insignificant if I’m to be honest with myself. It’s not just that I’ve not felt much like dating or getting out there and seeing what else might come to fruition in my personal life. More to the point, those nights I spent thinking of her, reviewing the facades in my head…those mornings I awoke with my heart in my stomach and thoughts of resentment and anger in my head…those are moments that my brain’s not thinking about my job, my businesses, about the economy, the market, about how to make money, how to best plan my career. Even as I’ve been as laser-focused on my career and my job in my actions, I know my brain could be processing much more were it not paying opportunity costs of heart distraction.

Maybe that’s exactly what bad karma is. It’s when bad thoughts and feelings build on themselves, creating vicious cycles that undercut real-life productivity. Not to mention undercutting real-life trust.

And you know, the very instant she began to tell me all the ways she’d be dishonest in the beginning, I instantly saw the karma build. Her actions and then her subsequent choices of building a relationship with me on facade made my pain fait accompli. And I knew that I’d be spending weeks feeling awful and dealing with the low self-esteem issues that come when someone you’re intimate with lies. And I knew that mindset and heartset wouldn’t be conducive to my being at my best. Bad karma indeed.

And how did I bring that bad karma into my life, I might wonder. Does the fact that I’d thought from the first time I met this girl that she’d be too…wild… for me? Then why did I later go forward? Oh, perhaps it’s all just 20/20 in hindsight, but I sure feel like I foresaw almost all of exactly what then played out when we finally gave it a shot. I’m an idiot.

Really then, from the decisions I made about taking actions to get into that relationship at all to the thoughts that I’ve wasted in pain, I, as the fund manager of my life, career and mind, am accountable for these losses on my brain’s P&L. Hoohah, like I’ve said many times before — managing money is for idiots. So is managing thoughts.

Then again, maybe I outta just be gentle with myself, re-read the Desirata and go to bed.

PS. I think most economic text books would agree with the Wikipedia definition of “opportunity cost”. At least the general accuraciosness of the description of what it mostly is in truthiness, if I may Colbertitize this post at the top. In high Colbertity, I added the italicized (or more). I think it’s more accurate that way and maybe we can get Bloomberg or Reuters to poll the same economists they ask about even more benign questions like “What do you think this month’s housing starts will look like?”